Heshy Fried Unimpressed With Pizza Maven

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Heshy writes on FrumSatire.net:

On Friday, my friend a fellow blogger Eliyahu Fink took me to Pizza Maven in Hancock Park, the frummy side of town. I wass marveling at the sites as I drove to the place. There were women in sheitles walking dozens of children all dressed in the same outfits, men in hats with peyos behind their ears and teams of high school girls drinking slurpies. I was getting my frum on, I felt almost exactly the same exact feelings I used to have when I would take a drive from Rochester to New York once every few months – it was the same 5 hour drive and it brought me to a whole new world. I remember thinking how fun NY was and always looking forward to getting the hell out of there. LA is the same way, I love the frummies, I love eating the food and looking at all the super cutties (LA is home to the best pritzus in America) but I thank God that I don’t live there. LA, like New York, is way too urban for me.

So Pizza Maven wasn’t too great, it’s good to eat pizza and look at frummies and the place was too clean to be a New York pizza store in a frum neighborhood. The guy behind the counter was a friendly older Boro Parker who shot the shit with everyone who ordered anything, but the pizza was a bit lame – too much dough, not enough cheese and no crunch. The mozerella sticks were lame – they seemed like they were from the package and ridiculously overpriced for what they were – I still maintain that the best kosher cheese sticks are made in Jerusalem Pizza in Detroit.

About Luke Ford

Raised a Seventh-Day Adventist at Avondale College in Australia, Luke Ford moved to California in 1977. He graduated from Placer High School in 1984, reported the news at KAHI/KHYL radio for three years, attended Sierra College and UCLA, was largely bedridden by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for six years, and converted to Judaism in 1993. From 1997-2007, Luke made his living from blogging. Living by Beverly Hills (Alexander90210.com), he now teaches the Alexander Technique (moving the way the body likes to move). Lessons cost $100 each and last about 45 minutes. In 2011, Luke completed a three-year teaching course at the Alexander Training Institute of Los Angeles. His personal Alexander Technique website is Alexander90210.com. Luke is the author of five books, including: » The Producers: Profiles in Frustration » Yesterday’s News Tomorrow: Inside American Jewish Journalism
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